Shot for the Sky, Stuck on the Ground
by KhCcGlee
Summary: If he had to deal with the scarier side of things, why didn't they? But Kurt knew that was selfish. They weren't the ones who were sick. They weren't the ones with cancer. Kurt was.


**I don't own Glee.**

_I shot for the sky__  
__I'm stuck on the ground__  
__So why do I try, I know I'm gonna fall down__  
__I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?__  
__Oh it's coming down, down, down.__  
_

Have you ever wondered what it feels like to look death in the face and not feel scared? Can you fully accept the fact that you're going to die and leave the world? Could you feel no problems with actually not living, breathing, talking, seeing? Not even moving?

Death. It's a scary thing to come to terms with. It's terrifying to even think about the reality of the world. That people die every second and _you_ could be next. Everybody dies at one point. Why can't it be right now?

It's a tragedy when someone dies or gets sick, but it's inevitable. Sometimes you have time to prepare yourself for the passing, maybe if someone is sick. Most of the time it's a shock. Car crashes, shootings, anything, you name it.

Right now, lying in an uncomfortable hospital bed in the middle of the night, Kurt wasn't sure about his feelings on the cold subject.

He knew that there was a small chance he would even make it through the next month or two and he had had a long time to come to term with that. During the nights when he couldn't sleep, he would lie awake, thinking over everything.

Kurt knew everything he needed to about his condition and he was fine with the science of it all, it was just the world, right? But the actual reality of the situation he was in was just depressing.

He was constantly surrounded by the people he loved, never being left alone. His dad, Carole, Finn, his friends, and Blaine. They were always smiling and trying to make him laugh and get his mind off of things, but he knew better.

Their smiles were always fake, but could you blame them?

He knew they were worried and _so_ scared. Kurt had thrust them into a world were the best days were spent around him while he lay, frail in the same bed he had been in for a while. Their normal was trying to get done with what they had to do at work or school early so they could spend their days sitting in stiff chairs, watching him get weaker.

In the beginning, he had tried to keep them away. Kurt had smiled artificially and laughed a little too loudly, hoping no one could tell the difference. Some did, most either didn't or they did and just didn't say anything. I mean what were they supposed to say? "Kurt, can you stop feeling sorry for yourself and actually be happy about this?" Yeah right.

After a while, his smiles became genuine and his laughs were soft and real. He was tired of living his life-or what was left of it- depressed. So he pushed the thoughts away and lived his life to the fullest. Sure, there were problems through it all, but if anything, it made him stronger and in the end happier.

People would talk of how it was so tragic and how he was so young.

The truth was that it was just life and eighteen _wasn't _so young.

Life was cruel and hard, not caring about anyone or anything. It threw you around and watched you deal with situations it put you in with an icy smirk. The fact that it was a bitch to Kurt wasn't really a surprise.

He was eighteen. He had learned to drive and gotten into fights. He had gotten drunk and appeared in a commercial. He had been on the football team, glee club, and the cheerleading squad. His grades were great and he had accomplished a lot at school. He had had his first kiss and lost his virginity. He had fallen in love and felt the keen sting of a heartbreak. Kurt had had a lot of experiences and no one had to worry about him not actually getting to live his life before dying. At least that was one way of looking at it.

He had never gone to college or started a fashion line. He had never gotten married nor had any kids. He had never gotten his own home or paid his own bills. He had never seen any grand children or _grown old._

These thoughts were what everybody was thinking about although they never voiced it.

What they did voice was much more optimistic. They spoke about his chances of beating it and getting better. They talked about what college he wanted to go to in the fall and where he would live. Blaine talked about their future together as a couple. To be honest, Kurt was having contradicting feelings about those things too.

He loved his friends and family so much for doing that for him, but at the same time he wanted to punch each and every single one of them in the face. If Kurt had to deal with the scarier side of things, why didn't they?

But Kurt knew that was selfish. He had already hurt them so much and all they wanted to do was be happy.

They weren't the ones that were sick.

They weren't the ones with cancer.

Kurt was.

**Well that was depressing. **

**This is just the prologue so the other chapters will be much longer and will explain everything that you find confusing. **

**Review?**


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